Free Man’s Birthday

Sometimes having an unread place in the universe is a good thing.

Today is my adopted son’s 19th birthday. I have had a difficult week because of this. Birthdays are good, right?

This one is important because he is, as he says, officially a free man. The problem is what will he do with this freedom?

I stay awake at night praying for him and his older sister. Afraid for them and the damage.

The damage they have already inflicted.

And whatever lies ahead…

Until

You should know
Your granddaughters quote Shakespeare–
The one you hurt the most
Nails

she should have died hereafter

And in her face there is the same alabaster
Perfection.
As there was once in your own

So many miles
Between Sunny
And heaven–

I will give you a plumb
Line

Until you can see her
Real
Like the picture on an ultrasound
Beating at the heart
Of the family
There is a child
You threw away

Heaven.

Dear Ethan,

Dear Ethan,

I can’t sleep. Usually I stay up late to pray, and tonight I am praying for you.

I am praying for your comfort–that you are safe and feel ok.

And for you to have a stuffed animal or an angel to talk to

I am praying that you feel loved. Your mama’s love, your family’s love

God’s big heart
He loves you

I am praying you get home soon and safe

I am praying you heal